MusicTank

Well, well, well - Guy Hands (promoting a thousand lazy 'Hands On' headlines) is really cracking the whip as he takes over the rudder at HMS EMI.  First he called Radiohead's defection to release 'In Rainbows' themselves as a "wake-up call" for the record industry and now he's turning his attention to artists, suggesting they need to sweat a bit more or, like Eric Nicoli, they'll be forced to walk the plank.

Good on him. Anyone who has ever met a musician will know they are, for the most part, lazy sods.  They lie in bed until 4pm and then get up and watch telly and then maybe "work on the middle-eight of that song" before going down the pub.  For a week.  Labels have genuflected for too long in front of the Altar Of Artists and let them get away with murder, confusing their indolence with "idiosyncratic creativity". Maybe they should set them performance-related targets such as write an album in three months with five hit singles on it.  This was, after all, the norm in the Sixties when acts had a serious work ethic as they didn't know how long their career would last.  Today, cushioned by big advances and a flint-eyed career-mindedness, acts are getting fat without breaking their backs too often.  The Victorians would have sent them up the chimneys; now all they have to do is sleepwalk through a £250,000 video and check into rehab if they have to play more than three gigs in a row. 

But, as labels now look to take on the 360 degree model, there's a worrying subtext to Hands' call to action. He wants them sweating round the clock and have them mine every revenue stream going until it runs dry.  The sweatshop approach will certainly up productivity, but it will also see an exponential decline in quality (where the bland replaces the genius).  It might boost the bottom line and justify Guy Hands' salary, but it is something that no real fan wants.  So, Guy, crack the whip by all means - just don't draw any blood.